In The Event (17 of 50, 100 word post)

In the event of rain, you may become wet. In the event of fire, you may become carbon. In the event of an actual emergency, you may disregard an artificial one. In the event of a nuclear attack, you may close your eyes. In the event of a tie, you may experience mild disappointment. In the event of a tornado, you may spin quite rapidly. In the event of an extended power loss, you may light a match. In the event of a biological attack, you may be found dead. In the event of my demise, you may be excused.